"I'm happy with who I am. I like myself," he said smugly.
"You're such a narcissist!" I jokingly said.
He threw a how-can-you-say-that-about-me look. He wasn't angry though. It was more like an expression of surprise.
"Oh come on, you love your self, don't you?" I retorted.
"Whatever," he said, "you don't know what I've been through."
I felt so bad immediately. Who am I to judge another person? We're 20. We've lived about 1/4 of our lives. We've been happy, but who can honestly say that they haven't yet felt bent, broken, pushed around, tested to extreme stress levels? So, I'm sorry I said that to him. I know vaguely he's been through dark times and survived, and I should be congratulating him. I'm happy he's happy with himself.
Update: A senior died in a car accident. A very close friend of mine here at school is best friends with the person who passed away. My friend is devastated. She refuses to get out of her room or eat. I've been force-feeding her for two days now. Other than that, I just hold her and listen to her. That's all I do. I don't offer her advice; I don't promise her everything will be better. I'm just there for her.
So, there are two things that have been on my mind. One is a reminder of annica. Doesn't it seem unreal to you? Don't you feel like you're invincible often times? Don't you think to yourself, "Oh, that couldn't really happen to me!"? But it does. Impermanence is real. Treasure what you have right now. Apologize to a person you feel like you have wronged but have been too arrogant to say you're sorry. Tell people you truly care for that you love them a lot. Try to be just a bit nicer to everyone, including strangers.
The other thing I realized is how hard it is to help a friend who is coping with death of her loved one. You have to choose your words carefully. Don't say you understand what she feels, because you really won't know everything she and that person shared - every little memory that makes her want to cry. A lot of my friend's friends are trying to be nice by telling her their stories. She doesn't want to hear your stories. To her, her friend is unique and cannot be compared to other people.
Finally, I'm just really worried, because my friend has attempted suicide before. Now, she is telling me that she feels like she's losing "it" again. You have no idea how scary those words sound. She says, "What's the point of living when you're just going to die like that (as her friend did)?" This is a lot of stress on me. I can't stand the thought of losing her, again.
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